refuel.
back and in control. that’s the good life, but too much of the good life leads to laziness and fat. one of the things i learned over there is that nothing is within your control. quite the true statement, but quickly glossed over here as if we americans know it all. we may know it, but we do not apply. we may pay lip service, but our lives only feign the superficial comprehension of such a fact. when tested, everything is subject to reevaluation. even great students who prepare months in advance for a test and do well preparing, fail the real deal.
out in the kyrgyz republic, there is no control. on a normal day, their meals are already humble to begin with. now, because of the conflict in osh, thousands are trying to get a meal in order to survive. here, i’m back and in control, wondering how heavy i wish to make my first plate.
i have a desire to truly learn how to trust God fully in all circumstances, so that knowing He is full control and i in none, will still be more than fine by me. i believe such a lesson will take considerable amounts of faith, trust, and perseverance, but i still believe it is something worth venturing out for in order to learn. but before the prayer is over i whisper to God that i don’t want to shed blood for the lesson. but then again, no win comes easily, or so the saying goes.
chiwan in 10 days for 5 weeks. these past 10 days have been a whirlwind, now i face another 10 at home before liftoff, hoping to keep my head above these homey waters. very subtle but always dangerous. then 5 weeks of who knows what.
truth is, i should view each day like this, with such sobriety. but only now does it feel like i have breathed and tasted the air as it was meant to be experienced, before all this fat, build-up, residue of whatever you want to say, got in the way. but for now i feel like my palate has been cleansed and i can finally taste life again, as it always should have been.
